The Way Things Are

Life has a funny way of happening. And when it does, it reminds you that you are not your life.  You simply live it out.  There is the essence of you that exists beyond your life, which is simply a period of time that has a beginning, an end and a sequence of events that connect the two.

Right now, things in my life are at the brink of a milestone. I can look back and see the almost-perfect childhood, and then the many years in between that seem to have passed in no more than mere existence (and yet may contain lessons that I will only appreciate in some distant future) and now the present – which is happening.  In the sense of changing, morphing, challenging, and basically becoming active.

Deadlines test the mettle of who we are, but change is what really brings out our inner fears. Sometimes you ask for something and it’s so long in the coming that you begin to wonder if you really wanted it all along. Maybe that is a lesson too – maybe when we want something really badly, it’s the urgency that is more prominent than the actual need. Given enough time, we can really do without it, no matter what it is.

And sometimes, the only way to make sense of things is to believe that whatever is happening is happening according to a Grand Plan that is beyond your comprehension. A Plan that serves the better good even when you can’t understand how.

Perhaps timing is a flashing arrow, suggestive of the way the future lies. I can’t see how else to make sense of why things have happened at the time they have. Would spacing it out over the past rather than squishing it all in a smaller span of time have made any difference? Maybe the ripples would have had an effect on the lives of others; people I don’t necessarily know.

There has to be a reason. That is all I know. I just hope I get to find out what that reason is sometime before The End 🙂

Bint Ali

Current Read:
Marley & Me by John Grogan

Current Saying:
“Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly beneath you, you suddenly know everything theres is to be known.”

Catching up. Just

Three weeks of college done. Time is passing too fast. Slipping away. Which is kind of at odds with how quickly – or rather slowly – it actually is passing on a moment-to-moment basis.

There seems to be a mountain of potential work that I could do if I choose to. Or I could just manage to ‘survive’ as usual. And with Ramadan coming up next week, I’m leaning towards the latter. I really don’t want to sacrifice the month for the work. If I did, it would be the final decision on how much I have and am willing to compromise. I guess this could be The Choice, so to speak.

As usual, I’m meeting new people – or rather the same people, but seeing new sides to them – on an almost daily basis. I’ve had the same circle of friends for so long that I can almost predict how they’ll react to anything I say. But now it’s a case of having re-define individuals as I get to know them better. It’s an interesting social aspect that I’d never really had a chance to explore before.

I know that sounds highly anti-social, but seriously, my friends have been my friends for so long, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know them. We’ve grown together and kind of changed and developed in tandem.

I think that’s probably why the whole ‘early marriage’ thing is encouraged in Islam. If it makes such a huge difference in friendship, how much more would it affect a serious relationship? If you marry someone while you’re both still growing then you kind of feed off each other’s changes and mature together almost as one unit with different perspectives.

But if you’ve already defined yourself and so has your spouse then it’s a different kind of relationship – more of a ‘discover and decided to accept/reject’ thing. Which is perhaps as volatile as it is interesting.

I guess there are pros and cons to every situation and in cases such as these, you only get to try out one style. 🙂

But I’m rambling and that’s something I need to work on avoiding. Have to try and bring myself into the present and just be. Wonder if I’ll finally manage to see auras if I do. How cool would that be?

Bint Ali

Current Read: 
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

Current Saying: 
A child, like your stomach, doesn’t need all you can afford to give it.
-Frank A. Clark, writer (1911- )