Asking

Allah (SWT) says: 
“Call upon Me, I will answer you.”

I think these are the most beautiful and powerful words I had ever read. The simplicity of the whole process and the guarantee of a response is more than any person could desire in a relationship. The emphasis in Islam has always been to rely totally and completely on Him. To abandon the notion or misconception that you have any power of your and to surrender to the fact that you are helpless except when He helps you.

It is the classic process of humbling yourself before Him and being empowered in the process. The only thing that stops people from doing such a simple thing is their ego.

Which is probably why I’m sitting here, writing this post. I’m finding it terribly hard simply to ask – and that even from God.

😦

Don’t get me wrong, I ask plenty. It’s just that I seem, over the years, to have created boundaries around the kinds of things I ask for. I find myself prioritizing inside my head: ‘What’s noble enough to ask for?’, ‘Is this more important or that?’, ‘This is a silly, worldly thing, I can’t ask for it!’ and on and on.

I’ll put things in little groups, the stuff I know is petty but I want anyway, the stuff I want because I know that it’s good for me, the stuff that we’re always told to ask for …and apparently this is very, very, VERY wrong.

Sure, I’ve heard the story where Allah (SWT) tells Prophet Musa (a) to ask for everything from the salt for his bread to the string to tie his sandals (different versions I’ve read include grass for his goat). The point being: ask.

My block is that some of the things I so badly want seem to be as a result of character weaknesses and because I can’t control myself as much as I need to. So I deprive myself from asking because I think this is a personal battle I have to overcome and deal with inside.

But then, how can I fight a battle outside of thhe jurisdiction of God? Everything is from Him and everything returns to Him. The battle may be inside of me, but the situation was destined by Him, the strength I need to overcome it will be from Him (whether I acknowledge it or not) and success will depend on His Will too.

Trying to think that I can manage on my own, that I have to struggle on my own, that I have to succeed on my own … all of it is beginning to sound like it has been tainted with a hint of shirk (polytheism).

So here I am, on this night, typing these words and making a resolution. I will ask. I will ask more often. I will not be ashamed to ask. I will ask for the things that the weakest part of my soul desires selfishly. I will ask for the things the strongest part of my mind reasons to be important. I will ask. And I will keep on asking. And then I’ll ask some more.

And He will answer.

Slms,
Bint Ali

Current Saying: 
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Thomas A. Edison

 

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