Is it a Crime to be so Happy?

Don’t ask me why, because I don’t know.  But I’m happy.  Happy enough to do twirls, and try clicking my heels and do those springy jumps on one toe.  (I managed quite well considering my recent lack of exercise!)

Maybe it’s because I seem to have overcome stuff that I didn’t think I would for some time.  Maybe it’s because I seem to have discovered that changing a frame of mind or controlling a thought is not as hard as it seems if you stick to it.   Maybe the battle doesn’t seem to be that hopeless.

Or maybe it’s because I just started watching Whisper of The Heart (another Ghibli Classic) – and while I’m currently stuck half way without subtitles, it’s done its magic over me just as Only Yesterday did.  While Only Yesterday made me feel all smooshy inside, it appealed to the current me.  Whisper on the other hand has been a gut-wrenching watch (my guts are wrenched.  Truly.)  

The entire setting of the story is like a flashback.  The stone buildings, the cool dark steps down to the street,  the corner store, the sprint across the baked tarmac (It’s amazing how they manage to bring out the heat of the constant sun without showing the sky) – all these are straight out of my 3 month stint in Dubai when I was 11.  I walked those streets,  played with my cousins, habitated those cool stairwell shadows between floors,  shouted out and passed parcels from balconies that shut with mesh screens.  Even the kitchen is the same! 

I guess maybe a part of me is glad to remember that time, and even more that I can now have some place to relive it visually without having to rely on memories.  I have to seriously get my own set of Ghibli stuff.

And I also started watching Ghost in the Shell II and stopped after ten minutes because the subtitles are too bad.  So, I’m stuck between two movies and have to wait until tomorrow to ask the teach to sort me out.  But oh boy, just the starting credits are mind boggling.  I watched them and had shivers running down my arm.

I hope (and pray) that some day I can be part of making something like that.  It would make my life complete.  At least my worldy one 🙂  

Aaah.  You thought I’d forgotten the whole reason I’m here, dintcha?  Maybe I had for a bit – because of many different things and people.  The difference between developing inner strength on your own and actually being exposed to situations where you have to exercise it is … well, it’s eye opening.

Sure, there’s a part of me that still feels “I wish…” every so often when I come across possibilities – intellectual, emotional and secular – but I think I’ll manage, insha’Allah.

Silent world out there – you’re listening, right?    Why don’t you leave a comment then and tell me how nuts you think I am.  🙂

S’laams
Bint Ali

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Is it a Crime to be so Happy?

  1. Re: Is it a crime to be so happy!!!

    Hey Anon

    I see i have a discerning commentor 🙂 Yeah, I do forget I’m human sometimes, but I think that’s good in its own way. We’re supposed to aiming for the angelic dimension and beyond, right?

    Anime? Don’t go there. I’ve started a long-term affair with that and it’s not going to end anytime soon!

    Now that you’ve shown yourself, make sure you come back! And bring friends! 😀

    S’laams
    BA

  2. Is it a crime to be so happy!!!

    Was just wonderin what it is that you are trying so hard to protect yrself from?? You are human u know? By the way, yr Anime is gettin a little outa hand, huh?

Tell me what *you* think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s