I often joke that I don’t really suffer from writers’ block in between periods of constructive writing. Rather I manage a few hours of writing between a lifetime of WB. But I am seriously blocked today. Which is why I’ve had to force myself to log into my account and start typing up this post.
They (before you ask, I’m referring to The Wise Ol’ Writers) say that the best cure for a block is to write. It doesn’t work for me in a creative sense because my blocks are usually based more on a fear that manifests itself in a physical form.
My fingers feel heavy and my entire body needs to be lugged to the computer room. The air seems thick and even as I open the pristine white plain of MS Word or (my recent favourite) RoughDraft, I feel like I’m slowly swimming through a sluggish bog of reluctance. Every word is dragged out of my fingertips, and the worst bit is that I end up writing mostly non-creative stuff anyway!
Bah! I need to sign my contract, and I also need to get my next assignment done and sent out so I can manage to schedule my fiction assignments along with my editing and learn as I work. And there’s Mish’s story to get done. I see the scenes in my head and every time I play them, the characters become more and more real. They just don’t want to be captured in words yet.
How can I possibly explain the mischievous charm that allows Sam to get away with everything selfish he does? Or the magnetic charisma hidden behind Ali’s silent, lanky frame? Then there’s Mish – is she giving me a hard time! She has to change so much and yet stay essentially the same. And then of course the entire plot line is so controversial, I’m not even sure it’s printable or acceptable.
Maybe that’s what’s scaring me the most. That people aren’t ready to read what I have to say. Besides, I can’t just concentrate on telling my stories and the world be dam*ned. Every piece of Islamic literature carries with it a responsibility. I have to think about the message it will pass on as much as the entertainment quality of the tale.
Actually, that makes me feel much better. I think I can handle a task that has some kind of outlined goal. If I have something stodgy and boring to worry about, my creativity can sneak in through the back door 🙂
To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.”
– Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948)