Have I Lost It?

People lose things on a daily basis. Well, at least I think they do – because I do. I lose keys, pens, books, notes – sometimes even clothes, all in the space of 1.5 rooms. It’s not that I have too much junk (can anyone have too many books or too much yarn?) or that my rooms are a mess (I prefer the term ‘organised chaos’). It’s just that sometimes I put things down without realising that I even have them to begin with.

Today I had to face the prospect of a far more serious loss thought. I was reading this wonderfully wacky blog – Hijab Sans Frontiers – and I realised that I used to write like that – fast, fresh and off-beat. Where then did I turn off onto the more introspective route?

Have I lost my sense of humour?

I’ve always had a slightly odd definition of what I find funny. I’ve never ever been able to understand crude or what they call ‘boy’ humour – it just doesn’t tickle me and I sometimes find it slightly offensive. That’s probably why those children’s comedies just don’t do it for me.

On the other hand, I do find wit very, very appealing. If someone is witty and can manage it on the run, then I’m totally impressed.

Thing is, I know I used to be funny and witty – I have written pieces to prove it. But for some reason, I seem to have ‘toned it down’ – could it be a result of trying to be more acceptable? More feminine? More ‘Muslim’?

Or maybe it’s just age. That’s scary – has growing up and facing certain harsh facts made me less able to laugh at things? People say that those who can laugh at themselves and at life tend to be happier and live less stressful lives.

In contrast, so many traditions from the Aimmah (a) state that we should be taking this life seriously and not over-indulge in laughter. One of the signs of piety is not laughing too much.

The way I’m seeing it, the difference is between ‘laughter’ and ‘happiness’. If you are happy, you don’t necessarily laugh. Remember Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice and how she knew she was happy rather than feeling it? I think Muslims can be perfectly happy and content without necessarily showing it clearly all the time.

Have I lost my sense of humour? I don’t know. I’m inclined to think that it’s metamorphosized into something different. What I do know, however, is that the quality of my life and perspective has improved and for that I’m willing to sacrifice a little wit’n’humour 🙂

Bint Ali

Current Saying:
The observance of three directions saves man from remorse: 
a) restraint from being hasty
b) consultation (with others) and
c) trust in Allah (SWT), the great and Glorious.
– Imam al-Jawad (a)


3 thoughts on “Have I Lost It?

  1. hijab

    I don’t know why hijab is such a polarizing issue, but it is. It is something people get very defensive about. I find that lots of people in my non-Muslim environment are afraid to ask me anything about it for fear I will be offended. And I find I am reluctant many times to field questions, that I get tired of explaining and justifying my behavior.

    I think that if you are dealing with a group that is not prone to hijab, all you can do is set the standard and the rule and encourage them, but if they show up without, provide it or whatever but don’t kick them out from participating. Especially the older ones, they are usually the least educated on Islam and suddenly at age 16 their parents are worried about them and think sending them to madressah at the last minute will save them when really it is too late. For those kids, our goal is simply to get them to know true Islam from culture, etc., and to find Islam likable so that perhaps someday they may choose it for themselves….


  2. Re: An onlooker …

    Ahsant, sis

    That brought me down to earth really fast. Yes, I’ve changed, but I’m hoping for the better and insha’Allah, we’ll all move towards only better things in the future.

    Bint Ali

  3. An onlooker …

    Salam Alaykum,

    Rasul’Allah’s advice on this matter:
    المؤمن بشره فی وجهه و حزنه فی‏ قلبه

    As far as happiness dwells within you and your face reflects it, and you have a smile when greeting others, I believe it is sufficient.

    On a personal note, I would prefer to observe all that is around me, and attempt to understand the real purpose of my creation, and judge myself accordingly. There is yet so much left for me explore … And as I begin to understand the cause of my existence, shame dawns upon me. Alas, the glitters of life have fooled me, and I have spent my youth in dismay. Trust me, this single thought is enough to make me loose my laughter, and transform into a more mature version of me.

    I think I’m moving off-topic here, so I’ll cut it short.


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