I finally decided to join the camera-clickers club. Yup! I’ve got a flicker account at Bint Ali’s Album
It’s mostly a showcase for my craft work right now – stuffed toys, ponchos, jewellery – and I’d appreciate a comment so I can make out whether my dream for that little shoppee sometime in the hazy future is actually one holding onto or not.
I’ve just recently understood exactly how much I love crafting. I mean I could sit and crochet or knit or tat all day long and just give away the stuff, because it’s the actually activity that pleases me more than the end result. Truth be told, the end result is usually entirely secondary for me.
I guess that means I’m a task-oriented person. Sure I have a goal in mind, but being in the moment of doing something is what gives me my highs. I wonder if that reflects in a person’s faith and ibadah?
In the past, whenever I wanted something really bad and tried to do a certain amaal or recite a certain du’a, I always felt something lacking – as if I didn’t really want that thing bad enough to add the final touch of desperation to the plea.
But over the past few weeks, as I’ve been exploring translations and allowing myself to enjoy (is that the right word?) the beauty of du’as and Qur’an, I’ve found that the meaning and the phrasing of the poetry brings out the depth of feeling all by itself.
Even when I don’t have a specific desire in mind, the effect of recitation is the same. I like it this way. Much as I admire the people who can sit for hours and pray and recite out amaals, I don’t think I’d be able to do it.
It used to make me feel guilty and I guess it still does a little. But I am beginning to hold the belief that the quantity of your worship increases in direct proportion to its quality, but that doesn’t necessarily apply vice-versa.
So yes, some day I hope I can immerse myself in worship so deeply that the passage of time or the circumstances of environment don’t become factors, but I want to achieve it sincerely and of its own value, not because I want something in return.
I pray for the same for all Seekers of God.