Who’s the Captain of My Ship?

How much depends on the decisions we make in life? Is it possible to close the door on something forever? Or does God just shift that opportunity to your new path, but perhaps place it along a different corridor and behind a different looking door?

Does every probable choice open up a fresh new possibility leading to completely new opportunities in completely foreign lives? How many ‘other’ lives do we give up everytime we make a choice for or against something? Can we ever even know?

I’ve often used the phrase “What you don’t know can’t hurt you”, but in this case it’s the not knowing that can make you frustrated in its elusiveness. It’s hard to decide what to choose without knowing the consequences of each choice, and yet it is impossible to know what those consequences will be without making the choice.

People say ‘Trust God!’ and I do. What I don’t trust is myself. What if I make the wrong decision simply because I was too blind to see the pointers God laid out for me? Or does He only lay out pointers that He knows you will see?

But then that’s like saying you can ask God to make your decisions for you and He doesn’t do that. The test of life is to make your own decisions. He simply guides you.

What if I’m too blinkered to see the light? I wish I could wake up in the morning and just know what to do. Or better still, get a written note under my pillow with specific instructions 😛

Some part of me understands why so many are eager to use astrology and other mystical arts to discover what the future holds. It stems from a deep-rooted insecurity of being able to handle what life doles out. It stems from the need to be prepared in advance because you don’t know if you can handle the stuff when it falls into your lap out of the blue.

And it is probably precisely for this reason that Allah (SWT) forbids the use of these arts. He wants you to face that uncertainity and conquer it. He places you in the middle of stormy seas on a boat you can barely keep afloat and then asks you to willingly hand the task of steering over to Him and sit back without question.

Perhaps that’s why the true Believers are so calm and confident. They know the seas are rough, they feel the fears and the pain, but having once trusted God with the ship, they don’t interefere in His methods of making them reach ashore.

After all, who knows better how to reach God than God Himself?

S’laams,
Bint Ali

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