Did lots of marking today – had to catch up on long overdue assignments. Most of the kdis have gone off on hols anyway, but I want to clear up and finish as much as I can before our planned vacation in Sept/Oct. We’re going to Shaam insha’Allah, if the situation stays stable and will possibly spend Ramadan in Dubai. The last time we did that was way back in 1988, when it fell during peak summer heat.
As I was finishing with the assignments and getting ready, I realised something odd. Five years ago, madrasa was my LIFE. Everything I did, breathed, spoke about and worked for seemed to revolve around it. But gradually over the past year or so, I feel as if something inside of me has changed. I have a (slightly) more expanded life.
There’s more to a day than preparing for the next week’s class. There are other things I think about, times when I even forget I have a class! I used to worry about those kids day and night and how to get them back on track or to make them realise the value of their faith. Now I’m willing to let them be and let their own parents take some share in the worry if they want to.
Am I changing? I think so. I can usually tell the phases of my personal growth from the way my temperament and perspective changes. It’s odd being able to step back and watch yourself grow, to monitor your reactions and be able to analyse how differently you behave in a situation from how you would have a few months ago.
But it’s exciting too. Reassures me I’m not dead 😛