It came. It went. No conquering in sight yet.

Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t have taken it literally. However, this now means that I will have to write to them in a day or two and ask what’s going on. It’s giving me the willies from now.

The past couple of days have given me a jolt though. On Sunday night, a young boy passed away after a botched up appendicitis op. Yesterday, an elderly woman from the community died just as she was standing for prayers. You don’t get a message clearer than that from Up There. It’s the death-comes-at-anytime-and-to-anyone phrase in action.

There’s so much pain and seeming unfairness going around. Why do we hurt each other so much? I mean, the doctors knew that they had messed up the poor kid’s insides, there was even mention that it was trainees who did the procedure. Didn’t they ever think about what they were doing? The kid suffered for almost two years and his parents with him. And no one will hold anyone accountable for their actions – not in this country.

It’s at times like this, when the injustice tears you up that you understand what a support the Justice of Allah (SWT) is. They will pay and they will get their dues, it’ll just take a while for it to happen.

And of course, when you attend funerals it’s impossible not to think of your own mortality. I’ve noticed over time that Muslims seem a whole lot more comfortable discussing death than most other people. We hear so much about it and it is such an essential part of our lives that we can’t help but keep coming back to it.

Some of us look at it as a grand adventure when we’ll finally get to see that other World. I guess we forget that the other World has two sides and we’re not sure which one we’ll be on. Others just don’t think about death, it’s something far away in the distant future and they discuss it logically and without emotion, constantly pushing forward the date as time goes by.

And then there are the lucky people who neither hasten to it nor run away from it. They seem to live in anticipation for the meeting with Allah (SWT) and the removal from this world of despair and pain and grief. And yet, they are wary of their accounts and so they are cautious about what they do and say.

It tough being this last group. Trust me. I know, because I’ve been aiming for the balance for years and still bounce from one extreme to the other every time I try to head for the middle ground.

In light of all this, what difference does a book contract make? I wrote it for Allah (SWT) and as long as He has accepted it, it’s served its purpose.

Bint Ali


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