Emotionally Stunted?

This blog is now one month old. And I’m keeping track as if it’s a new-born baby or a brand new relationship! I always wondered why people gave such emphasis to the passage of time, but now I think I understand – a little.

Sometimes things just hit me in face and after the initial shock, I find I’m perfectly unaffected by them. So it happened. Okay. What’s next? It scares me because at times like that I wonder if I’ve lost the ability to feel. Or if I’ve just learnt how to hide away my feelings so well, that even I can’t access them.

That’s one of the barriers I’m realising I have to break as a writer. I’m working on an essay for MWA about hunger awareness and all of the sudden I have to go deep down inside and find out what I really think of the whole issue.

It’s so easy to sideline it, to forget it exists and to go living normally. But how can i convince people to have faith in the goodness of humanity and in justice is I myself am disillusioned and cynical?

I have to learn to feel again. That’s one of the signs of Mo’mineen isn’t it? That their hearts are soft and easily touched. They have the ability to empathise with others, to love them, to care about their problems sincerely and to be motivated enough to help them.

Boy, do I have my work cut out for me!

Bint Ali


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